Dear Richard Henry Parkin Starkey Jr,
Holy freaking crap, that is one long name. Ha, I love it. So it's the famous Ringo's seventy-first birthday, eh? Honestly I have no idea how you could be over sixty at most. Anyway...
You had a really rough childhood, and I'm glad you were able to prove them all wrong. You were supposed to die in the coma so many years ago, but here you are. Dancing up on stage with your All-Starr band. Now that's brilliant. You really are just an amazing person. You're someone I know I can really look up to. All you want for your birthday is peace and love and that's what you wish for everyone. And you just seem like a really cool person. Just the kind of person you'd want to meet and talk to. And not only because you were a fuckin Beatle! Even though that probably has a lot to do with it. I mean, DAMN! You could keep a beat. And you just always seem happy. People like being around happy people, for the most part. I'm just rambling now cause I'm running out of things to say. Which is sad because I've barely said anything. Well, you're a great person Ringo. One day I'll hopefully see you in concert, or even meet you. You inspire me and I can honestly say, you're one of my heroes. I love you! Happy 71st Birthday Rings!
Peace and love, from me to you!